Throat

Should I ask this beautiful man after dinner
at the best Thai restaurant in the city
if he would come back to my place and fuck,
though I know my friend T is positive?

There is no cocktail of drugs for this knowledge, this fear
infecting my body, this fear of the infected body
no knowledge of virus or precaution
can cure.

For the same reason, no-reason, T’s boyfriend refuses him,
though he’s a dentist, and a scientist should know better.
For the same reason, no-reason, T doesn’t disclose his health
to his tricks. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

And I, knowing, am sick,
choke back the question, and swallow
beef sautéed with lemongrass and chili,
after chewing carefully.

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